Dear Pennies & Pens,
I love Christmas, especially Christmas movies! Like most Christmas movies, you can usually find me singing the song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” around the holidays. Christmas is truly a special time of year, you get to see family and friends, eat delicious food, and best of all there’s presents! So today, I just wanted to share some of my favorite Christmas movies.
The first movie, I am going to talk about is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. OMG, I love this movie!!! This is the movie you have to watch every year during the holidays. There are so many hilarious scenes in this movie that I don’t know where to begin. One of the funniest scenes is when Clark and Ellen’s parents come to their home for the holidays. Immediately after Clark’s mother arrives, she asks Clark if he a sees a mole on her face. “You see this mole on my neck? Is it changing colors?” “No, well, you keep touching it, it’s getting redder.” The next conversation is even funnier as Ellen mom says “I’ve got hemorrhoids, can you believe it?”
So as you can see, when both sides of a family come together including the in-laws, it can be quite a spectacle! Not to mention the Griswald’s poor next door neighbors who suffer just because they live next door. Check out the scene, where Clark is on the roof putting up the Christmas lights and he slips and hangs on the top of the roof and a piece of the siding goes through the window in the neighbor’s houses. You would think a neighbor would be more courteous?! *facepalm*
Another funny scene is when cousin Eddie and his family arrive without calling. After a few days, during breakfast, Eddie is outside in their front yard, doing something really unusual. The scene goes a little something like this: Clark and Ellen are talking near the window and Ellen says, “What are you looking at?” “A silent majesty of a winter’s mourn, clean cool chill of the holiday air and an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.”
One of the most rudest and funniest remarks in the movie, is after Uncle Lewis lit the Christmas tree on fire, Clark’s father in law says, “It was an ugly tree anyway.” Below is the picture of the tree after Uncle Lewis accidentally set it on fire lighting his cigar. Family…love em or leave em! lmao!
Honestly, I could go on and on about the funny scenes in this movie….especially when the police bust in the house after cousin Eddie kidnaps Clark’s boss. Eddie kidnapped Clark’s boss after Clark realized he wasn’t getting his Christmas bonus. So Eddie wanted to teach him a lesson. Even though Eddie meant well he was truly an idiot…but at least his heart was in the right place.
The last and final scene I wanted to point out is when Eddie’s two younger children run outside and say “Look!” Everyone then runs outside and Clark says, “It’s the Christmas star and that’s all that matters not presents or bonuses. After that, Uncle Lewis says, “that ain’t the freaking Christmas star Gris, that’s the lighter in the sewage treatment plant” then lights his cigar, throws his match near the sewer where Eddie poured the chemical in the sewer.
Immediately, Clark remembers and says “sewer gas” and says “Don’t throw that”, but it was too late. Right after he threw the cigar, there was a blow up in the sewer and Uncle Lewis was thrown over to the front yard and plastic reindeers flew in the air. After the explosion, Aunt Bethany stands up with her right hand over her chest and starts singing the star bangled banner. Basically, the scene is full of chaos which is truly hilarious. Simply put, this movie is a classic so don’t let the holidays pass without watching it!
As a kid, I absolutely loved the movie, Home Alone. This was such a popular movie in the 90’s. I remember as a kid, my father took my sister, brother and I to the movie theatre to watch it. We were so excited! The movie starred an 8 year old kid, Kevin, his immediate family and extended family who plan to go to Paris for Christmas.
The night before all the family is together and it’s like a madhouse. Kevin is treated like the outcast, especially when Kevin’s older brother Buzz intentionally eats Kevin’s cheese pizza. Angrily, Kevin runs into Buzz forcing him to vomit. Buzz then tips over milk which creates a mess that everyone cleans up. Uncle Frank says “Look what you did you little jerk?” Kevin mother tells him to go upstairs.
Kevin gets upset and feels like the outcast and wishes he will never see the family again and says “I hope I never see you jerks again.” Well guess what? It almost happens because his family leaves him because they overslept. Kevin wakes up and discovers he is home alone. So, Kevin learns to survive on his own. Meanwhile, these robbers who have been scooping the neighborhood are planning when they can burglarize the houses. Kevin goes grocery shopping, but on his way home, the robbers almost hit him. Funny, huh?!
Kevin soons discovers there are robbers burglarizing the neighborhood and they plan to rob Kevin’s house while he is at home. Now, they aren’t the smartest robbers around and Kevin has some things planned….
When the robbers Harry and Marv arrive, Marv says “ We know you’re in there and that your all alone.” Harry puts his head through the pet door and Kevin is pointing a BB gun right at him, says “hello” and shoots him. Kevin has the entire scenario figured out….it’s amazing how this eight year old kid outsmarts grown men!
Due to Kevin’s many tricks, the robbers feel the burn, literally. Like this scene when Marv opens the door and a light torch attached to the upper cabinet burns his head. Marv immediately yells and runs and puts his head in snow. Hilarious!
Later, Harry gets in the basement and puts his foot on the stairs, but tar begins to stick on his shoes, so he has to take off his socks, then eventually his shoes. Then, the inevitable happens.
Harry puts his foot on a nail and then falls backward on the ground yelling. More tricks…..
The robbers are eventually arrested. Kevin’s mother returns home and finds him safe and sound. They hug and have that moment that most 90’s family friendly movies do. The moral of the story is do not leave your kid home alone.
The next movie I’ll be talking about is Jingle All The Way, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Actually, I never seen it before writing this article, but I heard it was funny. So, I tested it out and I think it’s worth writing about.
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character Howard works very long hours and it seems like he misses a lot of his son Jamie’s events. When he is late to his son’s karate event, he tries to make it up to him by jokingly trying to play with him. Then his wife brings up that she told him two weeks ago to buy “Turbo Man” and Howard has totally forgotten, but pretends that he has purchased it.
So, Howard spends all of Christmas Eve looking for Turbo Man. Then he has to wait outside the toy store for them to open. While waiting, he meets another father Myron who is also looking for Turbo Man. The clerk opens the door, so many people bust through that they trample over him. Howard and Myron see that they are all sold out, so he asked the sales clerk and he laughs at him. The sales clerk says, “It’s always the hottest selling Christmas toy ever!”
In this movie, Howard gets into some very strange situations in this movie as far as chasing a ball to be able to purchase a Turboman. This happened when Howard and Myron heard that another toy store had a small supply of Turboman, they raced over there literally. The store that had a small supply of Turboman, so they had a few buckets of balls to give to the customers. Then, the store decided to double the price then the customers got very anxious to get the balls, so the sales clerks threw the bags in the air…..
Unfortunately, Howard is still unable to get the Turboman, so he meets “Santa” at the mall who tells him he knows how he can get a Turboman. Somehow, Howards ends up in a warehouse full of Santas! Howard purchases what he thinks is a Turboman, but ends up with a fake one.
Howard ends up in a parade dressed as “Turboman” and is parading down the street literally in a tight red superhero customer. He is able to give his son, Jamie, a Super Turboman. The scene is pretty awesome!
After Jamie gets the Super Turboman, he gives it to Myron after Howard’s mask is removed and he thinks his father is Turboman! The moral story of the story is do not be so obsessed with buying toys or gifts for your loved ones, but the most important is your loved ones. I hope we call appreciate this special time of the year and recognize what’s most important is family and appreciating them beyond their faults.
And there it is. de la Pen…All Pen Everything. With us, keeping it real never goes wrong.
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