Pen.Sport: My Bengals tell the NY Giants WHO-DEY Are

Yo Pennies & Pens,

This past Sunday I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. Why? Because my Bengals, my beloved Cincinnati Bengals were preparing to face the Superbowl Champs, the NY Giants. And they were doing so with a 3-5 record. Oh dear. What was Penny going to do?! Tweet, of course.

And so, I opened my Echofon app determined to tweet myself into a good mood. Maybe the Bengals would win after all. Maybe they’d turn this game into one of the biggest upsets of the NFL season. Kinda like that Texas A&M vs. Alabama game I watched Saturday night. And so, I began to tweet talking about “pre-gloating” Giants fans who just knew they would win and how there are ALWAYS upsets in football (all sports, really). And lo and behold, do you know my Bengals played like they were “In the Jungle”?! WHO-DEY!!!

Son, my Bengals beat the shit out of the Giants. Do you hear me?! My Bengals, a 3-5 squad embarrassed, annihilated, outplayed, and outshined the world champions. I remember watching the game sipping my Corona and not knowing how to feel. Of course I felt extreme joy but other than that I really didn’t know how to feel. I mean you have to realize that for my 20 plus years of life the Cincinnati Bengals have never been that great of a team. Since Marvin Lewis has been coaching things have definitely improved but we’re still not there yet.

But on Sunday, we looked like a real squad. The Bengals genuinely played like they gave a damn and like they deserved to win. That’s what’s been missing in the Bengals for all the years. HEART. Like I said, since Marvin Lewis came we’ve been developing quite the squad. We’ve got rookie QB Andy Dalton (who by the way threw no interceptions and four touchdown passes to four different receivers against the Giants), AJ Green at wide receiver, and Rey Maualuga at middle linebacker. That means we’ve got great players in three very key positions so now all we have to do is make something happen.

The Bengals have to keep the momentum of this game and finish out the season on a high note. We definitely won’t make it to the bowl but I think we could at least get to the playoffs. The main thing that I’m happy about is that the Bengals proved that they can win against a top team. My Twitter timeline went crazy with shock and disbelief at our phenomenal (31-13) win but I’m taking it all in stride since I know this is just the battle, the war still has to be won. Before I go, I’d just like to say to some Giants fans that y’all are some stank, sore losers. I saw no congratulatory tweets and y’all disappeared from my timeline after the 3^rd QT. Maybe you should tell your QB to throw a TD pass, he hasn’t done that in three games, ya know. That may help y’all win next time…#ImJustSayin.

And there it is. de la Pen…All Pen Everything.

*Disclaimer: When I cover and feature sports, I will be talking shit. It’s all in good fun and I mean no one any harm. I have respect for all athletes because what you do is not always easy or fun. I also appreciate fellow fans because you are what make the discussion of sports so fun. I’m saying all this so no Giants fans kill me for the above post. #Thatisall*